just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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