No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
