my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
