ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
