No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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