we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How does one acquire holy water?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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