There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
