He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
