Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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