I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
