Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
