youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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