I wish my penis had an off switch
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize