Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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