Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
