It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize