I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
