doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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