Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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