the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
