She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
