So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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