listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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