So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
