we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Send help, water and tortillas.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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