Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
