haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
