North Korea, Best Korea!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
