I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
