tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize