we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
