I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
