I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
