So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
