okay pat passed out under dana's car
Say something about gay babies.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
