Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
