I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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