Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
