thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize