I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
