good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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