Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
