i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
