My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
