That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
