I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
