i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
