i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize