i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Pants are for mortals
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