We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
