Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
