hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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