remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
