See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
