so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
