he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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