erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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