is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
