what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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