i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize