Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
