I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
