You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
