My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I can text with my tongue
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize