He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
