ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
