I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
